Whatever's Lost in the Transition from Analog to Digital
"Whatever's Lost in the Transition from Analog to Digital" is a bit of a lengthy name. This is the first album I've ever made. If you think about it, olazul actually made Vista Point, not me.
This is the first songs I ever put vocals to. For pretty much all of my life, my voice sucked shit. But I'm lucky enough have worked in an environment where my excuses for singing were tolerated, and now I can say my vocal ability is pretty good. Good enough to make an album with it. This album is not an example of that.
This album cover was done by rekkometal. I commissioned the art piece a good 6 months or something like that before the album came out. Twitter recommended me her work at some point in 2023(?), and I'd been keeping tabs on her work since. I knew from the moment I saw what she could do that it fit perfectly with the kind of aesthetic I wanted for this album. I paid for two frames of animation, and told her to just wing it and make some kind of sketch thing.
she used to live here is the opening track on the album. It is also the second to last song I worked on for the album. It's a "cover" of Merle Haggard's Fool's Castle.
She used to live here
I thought she was lucky
She had what most could only dream of
I gave her diamonds
Silk and satin
I gave her everything but love
Oh, with my giving
I really gave her nothing
She wanted only to be by my side
You know they call it the fools castle
Cause I'm the fool who lived inside
There's not a whole lot that I changed from the original song to this one. Rather than using the first verse, I used the second one. I swapped around a few words here and there to make things flow better. To me, the phrase "She used to live here" is so much more impactful than "There's a big house", you feel me?
I also changed the "lives inside" part at the end to "lived inside". It helps set up the rest of the album as an open-ended question.
This isn't a concept album per se, but I wanted that theme of emptiness and failure to define the tone of each song.
Chase is the second track on the album, and the second earliest track I began work on. I was heavily inspired by Prince's Something in the Water (Does Not Compute).
Where are we going? It's not to you this whirlwind's heading.
It's your blind spot, the sounds of sirens pierce the scene.
All of these cyclones take out the pain and wash it down.
Where are you now that I need you the most?
Where are we going? It's not to you this whirlwind's heading.
Oh I trust you. I'll just shut up and keep running.
Sparks of lights flash, pings of vague memories of yesterday.
Can't I voice my concerns without you patronizing me?
Where are we going? It's not to you this whirlwind's heading.
Burning headache, I can feel my brain splitting.
You're a psycho. I can still see her blood in my eyes.
Where are you now that I need you the most?
Where are we going? It's not to you this whirlwind's heading.
Throw those thoughts out, it's not like I'll need them in time.
My vision's going dark, I try with what I can to grasp your hand.
Did you even care when she cried out with the last of her life?
This song is pretty self explanatory. It's a story about the narrator being dragged around by their lover after something horrible happened. I was going for like a jealousy type of situation, but you can read in to it whatever you prefer.
Stasis is the third track on the album, and was first drafted back in April 13th, 2024. I don't have any specific inspiration, I just came up with this fyre fake guitar synth and thought "what if I make something kinda like What I Got by Sublime." It didn't sound much like Sublime after finishing it.
Cause it's not the same, stuck under the overpass
Mind's willing to break, but I could've told you that
It's a question of why, you tell me that you were leaving
But as a matter of fact, your heart won't stop its bleeding
Crystal of time, crystal of mind,
Everything you've ever wanted in life,
Feeling the breeze, the world's your oyster
Wouldn't it be nice if you could just shut up and die?
It's not something you do, it's something you take
A great wall of stone, to keep you embraced
You missed your exit, now you've been replaced
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It's not all to blame
Like curtains on the wall
Just your heart to taint
Black curtains on the wall
You died yesterday
So you need a place
Somewhere to keep sane
It's stasis
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It's nothing to mind, the ringing of an echo's rhyme
You're set for the stars, it's only a matter of time
You have things to do; in the fog of a broken mirror
There lies a soul, if only it were just that clearer
Brilliance of light, brilliance of heart,
Something you thought wouldn't be apart,
Brutal necrosis, the soul's gone decayed
Isn't it a wonder how I haven't fucked off and died?
Your prison's a temple, you've been led astray
In flickering lights, do you think you're the same
Are you there now, do you need to wake?
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It's not all the same
Like curtains on the wall
Just something you've made
Black curtains on the wall
You're short of disgrace
But you won't hear them say
The truth in their pace
It's stasis
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You're a diamond to sell, that portrait of yours is a dream
But that heart is a well, it's leaking from its seams
Do you think about love, and all of its consequences
Or is your fate like a dove, do you keep hold of your senses
Flaming of day, flaming of soul
A realization you couldn't withhold
Breaking your bones, smashing your skull
Isn't it funny how we never see past the goal?
A murder in motion, your honor, the blade
Is set on your throat, I must speak to obey
Enforce it then, let me know my place
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It's some further path
Like curtains on the wall
You'll savor this wrath
Black curtains on the wall
But we're mortal, we're man
If misery's our plan
Why not take a stand
For stasis
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If there was only one song that I could go back in time and record just one more vocal session for, it'd be Stasis. I'm not a huge fan of the final vocal performance. Ah well. Whatareyagonnado.
This song was originally going to be very gay. But then I decided to make it about depression. That's where the final four lines of the last chorus come from, and where the four lines at the end of the last verse come from.
Pretty straight forward song about my struggle with depression. Everyone around me reassuring me that I'm doing great and on a good path, but inside I felt like I was really going nowhere. I remember specifically rewriting this section to what it is today after receiving the worst paycheck I'd ever received. That felt like peak hopelessness.
Collapse is the fourth song off the album, and one of the last songs I started work on. The instrumental was drafted in July 15th, 2024, and the song is inspired by Aphex Twin's Vordhosbn.
It doesn't fit your picture
It wasn't in your schedule
Maybe we could fit it on a better day
Staring in the mirror
What's that on your forehead
Wouldn't you like to rip the skin from your face
It's preordained
Look at your signature
The way of the cosmos doesn't bend to wants
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Some things are made easy
But life is a burden
A system unstable, teetering on the edge, just waiting for you to
Collapse
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A memory forgotten
Maybe once maybe twice
It's not fair to think that you could horde them all
Business as usual
Dress it up in a new coat of paint
Maybe then they'll stop asking questions tomorrow
Calling further out to your name
Or what I've supposed it to be
That's probably why I never hear you call me back
⚛⚛⚛⚛
Leave it just to voicemail
A malaise I could not understand
But it's the world, and it's bearing its weight on you, just for you to
Collapse
⚛⚛⚛⚛
I know it's a lot
I know I come to you with nothing
But might you take this briefcase from my hands?
I've come from a long way out
To meet you, as I am, awake
Awake of the collapse for what I've come to bind
It's something natural
To want this escape
Maybe I could stay just a night or two
⚛⚛⚛⚛
I'm joyed by your presence
I'd rather not go at night
But I'll see you sometime when my back gives out, and I come to you to
Collapse
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Oh, collapse
If there was only one song that I could go back in time and record just one more vocal session for, it'd be Collapse. Wait....
This song is about decay in general. Decay in the quality of your life, decay in your own body, hoping for death. The final section is all about approaching death, before realizing it's best to take advantage of life as you have it now. It's also kind of about Jesus.
Violets is the fifth song off the album, and was started pretty much after I finished making Chase. The video for this song, at the time of writing this, has 5 views. People hate this song! It was one of my favorites. This was made when I originally intended the project to be a concept album.
There lies someone
Farther outside of violets and what we've come to know
Reaching out for what amounts to ruins in vain
But in due time, he'll make it out today
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There lies someone
Farther outside the common grounds, where ills are catalogued
Sprits of violence and rotting pain
But in due time, he'll make it out today
Oh what a shame, I see your smile
Laughing along the way, it breaks my heart
Are you too far away for me to say hello to you?
Or is it what we have that's too gracious to make it through
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There lies someone
Farther outside of sensibility and hurried whispers
Vultures plunge down and crush the grace
But in due time, he'll make it out today
Oh what a shame, I see your smile
A perfect diamond encased by a burning flame
Does it make sense to harbor these feelings of you?
Or am I better off down the road looking around for something new
Laughing along the way, we share these precious moments alone
You hardly notice, but it makes me feel so good
You take my soul and break it down between your palms
It should take the will of a soldier to stay, as you do, so calm
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There lies someone
On the corner of 4th and San Pedro, dead and alone
Vultures plunge for what amounts to ruins in vain
But yes, even him, he'll make it out today
Oh what a shame, I see your smile
Terrific nights curled up in thoughts of you
Where were you when that world itself came crashing down?
Were you with the others, too upset to make a sound
Laughing along the way, we share these precious moments alone
I remember so long ago, the thought seemed so absurd
This world you've made is like the perfect present to me
And my seeming innocence drips down like condensed dreams
It's much too late to take the A line train back home
You took everything you could, with nothing left to lose
Are you too far away, do I have to scream and shout out to you?
Or is it just the silence, too piercing to make it through?
Last minute, I completely changed the synth for this track. I still don't know I like it for sure.
So like I was saying, this song was made back when the album was going to be a concept album. The three songs I had in mind were Chase, Violets, and Shreds. Chase was the dramatic, heart-palpitating intro to this fucked up world the album is set in, Violets was the creepy, eerie, more atmospheric song, and Shreds was Violets in a brutal, ugly ending.
Reinterpreted though away from the concept album roots, this song sets up the idea further explored in Shreds that sex and desire is this really ugly thing to me. Especially when I wrote this album, I felt too ugly for love. Not ugly in terms of appearance per se, but ugly in spirit. If that makes sense. It doesn't, but whatever.
Shreds is the sixth song off the album, and one of the earlier tracks I worked on. It's also my favorite from the album! And at the time I'm writing this, it has the second highest view count of any song on the album. So people seem to agree with me.
Right
Is it right or wrong?
When I see your face
I hear your song
Here
Am I here or there?
Is it good for you?
Is it even fair
Drown
Do I drown or cry
When you're upset
Do you wish you could die?
Fate
Is it fate or luck?
To tell you the truth
Oh I just want to...
⚛⚛⚛⚛
Take my arms and wrap around you
Take my heart and melt inside you
Take my soul, here and forever
Take me now, I can't explain it
I'll give you all I can offer
Sometimes it's not right to stop her
When she's come to me to suffer
Tear me to shreds, oh
⚛⚛⚛⚛
Hear me now, I'm underwater
Take it all until you're certain
Baking canyons on the walkway
Take me now, I can't explain it
Here I am, I walk on water
Lift me back up to the surface
You're an angel sent to kill me
Tear me to shreds, oh
Oh cyanide, oh cyanide
Lost my light, I lost my life
Oh here I am, oh what again
Take me now, I can't explain it
Oh cyanide, oh cyanide
Lost my light, I lost my life
Oh here I am, oh what again
Tear me to shreds
⚛⚛⚛⚛
Head
From head to toe
I whisper now
For you to go
Dance
Dance and stay still
A horrific sight
From the windowsill
Speak
I speak what I said
To tell you the truth
You're already dead
I can't
I can't stand aside
I want everything
I want your life, so...
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Take my sense and all my reason
Take my heart like it's your grievance
Take my essence, you're a champion
Take me now, I can't explain it
You're a blessing, I'm your damsel
Treat me like I'm just a hassle
You're a man fit for a castle
Tear me to shreds, oh
⚛⚛⚛⚛
Hear me now, I'm underwater
Take it all until you're certain
Baking canyons on the walkway
Take me now, I can't explain it
Here I am, I walk on water
Lift me back up to the surface
You're an angel sent to kill me
Tear me to shreds, oh
Oh cyanide, oh cyanide
Lost my light, I lost my life
Oh here I am, oh what again
Take me now, I can't explain it
Oh cyanide, oh cyanide
Lost my light, I lost my life
Oh here I am, oh what again
Tear me to shreds
⚛⚛⚛⚛
Truth
Say the truth and lie
We're nowhere else
Try this on for size
Kill
It's to kill or live
To know your way
You need to give
So take
Take me and give back
All the things you need
For all I lack
It's wrong
Is it right or wrong
To take all of this
As it stands so long, I...
⚛⚛⚛⚛
Take my words and melt them for you
Take my sword and give it to you
Take my door and leave it open
Take me now, I can't explain it
You're a gem, I'll do the ripping
You're no one, you're just a darling
You're a fruit, fit for the picking
Tear me to shreds, oh
⚛⚛⚛⚛
Hear me now, I'm underwater
Take it all until you're certain
Tell me here you'll love me always
Take me now, I can't explain it
Here I am, I walk on water
Maybe there's a further purpose
You're an angel sent to kill me
Tear me to shreds, oh
Oh cyanide, oh cyanide
Lost my light, I lost my life
Oh here I am, oh what again
Take me now, I can't explain it
Oh cyanide, oh cyanide
Lost my light, I lost my life
Oh here I am, oh what again
Tear me to shreds
⚛⚛⚛⚛
So where Stasis was originally going to be very gay, Shreds is very gay.
The song is about my conflict between my sexuality and my desire to blend in to society. To me, they feel incongruent. Sex then has to be this ugly thing, because it's unnatural.
Entropy is the seventh track off the album, and is the earliest song I started working on. I first got the inkling for Entropy back in middle school: the synth melody, and the flow of the verse were originally intended to be made into a hip hop track.
I stand aside these broken walls of tortured souls and empty thoughts
Passage ways to empty brains and blank gazes counting bed bugs on the wall
I scream and shout until that feeling of doubt is replaced with an empty call
I climb the endless series of descending steps in my mind till I slip and I fall
And it's here, it's mine
At least I don't remember the dying
I'm keeping in control, I'm trying
Lying to myself, I say it's fine, it's something I must accept.
⚛⚛⚛⚛
Tear at my skin
Link my mind
Entropy takes us all
Because the EGO is a false upset
Saying things it never meant
⚛⚛⚛⚛
Here I am, here I am, I'm still, I'm man, human, flesh and blood
It's a chrysalis of mankind's thought manifest into craters of ruined gods
A one, a zero, last place is home to reeling haunts and endless dreams
The pitter patter of the phone on the desk as it rings in harmony to nothing
Yes it's here, it's mine
I don't think I can defend the crying
The ticking of the clock is lying
Crying from my arms, I say it's fine, it's something I must accept
⚛⚛⚛⚛
Tear at my skin
Link my mind
Entropy takes us all
Because the EGO is a pulse of think
Mindset of the kitchen sink
⚛⚛⚛⚛
Can you see a blank reality?
Or is it all just a canvas beneath the Artist's loving hand?
What has become of all its brush strokes?
Why can I see it ripping straight down the seams?
Pride and love is a confused emotion
Wrapped in an embrace to the decaying and the dead
Can you see a blank reality?
Or are you here to rewrite the maker and his plans?
⚛⚛⚛⚛
Tear at my skin
Link my mind
Entropy takes us all
Because the EGO is a broken wall
May we be saved from its graceless fall
⚛⚛⚛⚛
This song was originally going to be about the inhumanity of generative AI. Then, it became about the inhumanity of generative AI as an allegory for my own feelings of inhumanity.
The bridge was originally going to be much more boring than what is became, but then I heard the song Being Boiled by The Human League and did something totally different.
The very first line I wrote for this song is the chorus. Then, the rest of the song sort of fell into piece after that.
New Arms is the eighth and final track off the album, and is the very last song I recorded for the album. I actually rerecorded this song maybe 4 times before the album actually went live in December 1st, 2024.
Hopefully this word of warning has reached your hopeless ears
I can't reside the feeling now that you've confirmed my worst of fears
Oh, the maker's tools are strewn in strands of long decaying sighs
I let these thoughts boil over as they crawl through my eyes
Let's see now, let's see now
I take it on the chin
Let's see now, let's see now
And cast aside your initial doubts
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The stresses meet a breaking point
The curtains can't come to a close
I need new arms just so I can feel
My fingers are stiff like rocks
The actors all subside
I need new arms to know it's all real
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Hopefully this word of warning has reached your hopeless ears
I can't resign this feeling now that I've created these gears
Oh, the notes are burned in streaks of long unending cries
This scripture I've inherited does all to agonize
Let's see now, let's see now
I take it on the chin
Let's see now, let's see now
And cast aside your initial doubts
⚛⚛⚛⚛
The limbs have all stopped moving
The play cannot continue
I need new arms if your dreams are to go fulfilled
Your vision I confess
Has all the effort it deserves
But I need new arms so I can rebuild
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Hopefully this word of warning has reached your hopeless ears
These seeming benign arrangements open scars before all of my peers
Oh, the quotes are written out in blood to authorize
I scratch at all these chains that bind as part of me dies
Let's see now, let's see now
I've seen this show all before
Let's see now, let's see now
But you've cast aside your initial doubts
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It's the moment of the hour
Crowds cheer, ovations rise
I need new arms, mine have gone all cold
I can faintly hear this ringing
We don't need to compromise
I need new arms, your story's yet untold
The sound is yet to end
All the memories are gone
You need new arms, your hands are all too full
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If there was only one song that I could go back in time and record just one more vocal session for, it'd be New Arms. Alright, the joke's done now.
I'm not even going to say anything else. Here's exactly where I got this song from, as per my notes:
there isn't actualy anything i just think new arms sounds so fucking cool as the name for a song i got jebaited by a vtuber clip and i need to see this made because that's some deeeeeeeeeep sounding name
i may use this i may also just throw in something entirely different but alexandre - New Arms needs to happen im telling you
So there was this vtuber who appeared on my Youtube feed with the title "New Arms - (vtuber name here)", and I was like "What the fukc, that sounds so cool, what does New Arms even mean?" and it was exactly what it meant on the tin. They got a brand new set of arms for their model. I got totally jebaited.
So now I'm a bit disappointed, but I've got a crazy title that I can work with. What would "New Arms" mean?
I decided it would be a great album closer, to wrap up the theme of the album of failure and disappointing those you care about.
So that's everything. What do I think about the album? Looking back on it now, I think it's not nearly as good as it should have been. But it sucks, to me, because of the production and vocal performance. One day I want to remake these songs, when I've got more experience under my belt.
I think there's some decent hooks and melodies in there. I think there's a lot to unpack in the lyrics. I think I did a great job of arranging the songs themselves. There's just not enough oomph to bring it to the finish line as a work I'm completely proud of.
But it's taught me a lot about how I want to continue with my music. And I hope I can bring that oomph this album needed into my next album. Maybe that includes a studio session instead of recording the vocals in my bedroom? Too ambitious.
alexandre, April 28th, 2025